Why Me? Or Better Yet...Why Not Me?

Photo Courtesy of Patrick Perkins and Unsplash

If I've found one thing to be consistent with virtually all of my coaching clients, it is that we all have moments of uncertainty, fear, and imposter syndrome. We doubt ourselves. We compare ourselves to everyone else and we feel that we don't stack up. We believe we are not enough and we ask "why me?" (or who am I?) because we feel inferior in some way, shape, or form.

I have those moments too, especially as I've been in the process of writing my first book. I have had so many internal conversations with myself asking "who am I to write a book?" and battling feelings of doubt, uncertainty, discomfort, etc. I have feelings of inadequacy and also have feelings that I am not enough.

But here's the thing. We are enough.

Let me repeat that.

YOU are enough.

Exactly like you are, you are amazing and worthy of sharing yourself - as is - to the world around you.

It is so easy to forget all of the great qualities, skills, experiences, expertise, perspective, and knowhow that we have within us. It is easy to downplay those things in comparison to "other" people who we perceive to have more. It is easy to assume that what they have is better than what we have to offer. It is easy to focus on areas that we still need to grow and forget that there is so much more already working for us.

You are enough.

Now, I know that asking you to take my word for it is a stretch. YOU have to believe it about yourself for it to really matter.

When that inner critic and doubt start to creep in, you have choice in how you can navigate it. Some of your many options include:

1. Remain a victim to it and continue to feel it, potentially creating a toxic relationship with yourself

2. Stay fearful and play small

3. Ignore it and "fake it till you make it"

4. Acknowledge the fear and thank it for it's concern, relinquishing some of the power it has over you

5. Reframe it to an opportunity for greater growth

6. Rely on external validation to help you through it

7. Believe that YOU are enough

Know that there are no right or wrong answers here. Each of these options (and the many more that are out there) have a benefit and have a disadvantage depending on your personal situation. However, I personally am an advocate for #7 because I have seen it be advantageous for people time and time again - including for myself.

An exercise that is helpful in working your way toward believing fully in yourself is to consider the facts tapping into your rationale and logic, especially since the fears and doubts are emotionally driven. When we can integrate facts into our internal dialogue, it is harder to stay in those inferior feelings. I highly encourage you to document these facts and visit them when the imposter syndrome and "why me" line of questioning starts to creep in.

Facts About You Exercise

Take a moment to answer the questions below to compile your fact list:

1. What gifts and talents do you have?

2. What experience and skills do you have?

3. What do you love to do (i.e. what fills you up and gives you energy)?

4. What are you known for? How do people describe you?

5. What has made you the success that you are today?

Certainly there are other questions that you can ask, but this is a great start. Once you have answered these questions and have created a beautiful list of FACTS about you. These facts work together to make you the most unique, most special and most impressive person that you are. These facts tell you that you are worthy, that you are enough, and that you deserve to share yourself with the world around you.

These facts change the "why me" question to "why not me".

Why not you for the promotion?

Why not you for the speaking engagement?

Why not you to publish a book?

That is powerful!! You are powerful!! Why not you!!

Working on your confidence and belief in yourself? WeInspireWe has a team of expert coaches to support you in your journey. Schedule a FREE strategy session with us today to see if coaching is right for you.

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Tami Chapek is the CEO, Founder and Head Coach at WeInspireWe. Tami believes in community and positive change and has dedicated her life to bringing these concepts together. By empowering one, we empower many - and she believes that answer starts within. Click here to book a meeting with Tami today.